Can Christian’s Have Friends with Benefits? :: Deeper Devotion

Hugh Heffner, the founder of Playboy, once said, “sex can sometimes, quite properly, be an end in itself.” Behind this statement is the belief that sexual activity is solely physical in nature. I am afraid that the same faulty thinking is what motivates the idea of “friends with benefits.” Many of you have asked about this lately. As a Christian, is it okay to embrace the idea of having friends with benefits? I think the biblical answer to this is no. Let’s quickly explore two major reasons for this conclusion.

Sex should not be separated from love and marriage
If you believe that Bible to be God’s revealed word to humanity, it is impossible for you to have friends with benefits. Sex is good. God created sex, but He did so for certain purposes and within a given context. Genesis two specifies that context as marriage between a man and a woman. Sexual activity outside of marriage is sinful before the Lord.

Honorable sex is not selfish in nature
As a believer, you have the privilege of looking to Jesus as your ultimate example of true love. In His death on the cross, we see that true love is sacrificial in nature, not selfish. True love places others first. (John 15:13). This truth extends to sex because sex (and all sexual activity) is not to be separated from love. Selfish sex does not honor God. Sexual activity should not be pursued for your own physical gratification. The Bible understands sexual activity as an act of giving, not receiving. To enter into a sexual relationship solely for your own satisfaction is sinful before the Lord.

As I said, these are only two of many reasons that “friends with benefits” should not be embraced by Christians. If you are not a believer, I do not expect that the reasons given will carry any weight. Only those that wish to honor God with their purity will find validation in the above reasoning (1 Thessalonians 1:3-8).

This post has been in response to the question “Can Christians have friends with benefits?” If my response has raised further questions, please feel free to leave a comment or submit them here.

It's so easy to crush. But is it right? Jeremy Smith shares about his high school crush and what he's learned.

From the Archives

Trial Marriages?
Aug 31, 2008 @ 06:01 am
6 Comments

What if I am Being Abused?
Aug 31, 2008 @ 11:34 am
8 Comments

Being Honest with Others
Aug 31, 2008 @ 09:59 pm
6 Comments

What’s Your Excuse?
Aug 31, 2008 @ 01:32 pm
3 Comments

What Does the Bible Say About Sex?
Aug 31, 2008 @ 06:57 am
44 Comments